• Him: Hey, didn't you go on a blind date with some disfigured guy at that restaurant?
  • Me: Yeah, the Elephant Man.*
  • H: Who set you up on that date?
  • M: A friend of my Mom's.
  • H: Jesus. "You know who would be perfect for this freak? Lauren!"
  • M: Well, maybe it's because I am so nice. You know, she knew that I would look past the elephantiasis and into his soul.
  • H: Uh, you're nice...but not _that_ nice.
  • *This is how he described himself.